Category Archives: Laughing

Zumba Studio Prostitution Den

You never hear these kinds of allegations against Jazzercise.

Investigators allege Wright ran a prostitution operation out of her Zumba studio in Kennebunk and taped her encounters on video equipment set up by Mark Strong, an insurance agent from Thomaston.

As an insurance agent, Mr. Strong clearly has a firm grasp on the concept of risk management.

Hookers–they aren’t just for rugby any more.

HT PacePerMile

I Crack Me Up Sometimes

If you play Judas Priest's new album backwards it says, "Sharepoint Lookup Column Types".
@sadcox
Scott Adcox

Idea For New Television Show

A booksmart/streetdumb professional basketball player studying to get his master’s degree in economics secretly pines for his sports agent’s sister–a police detective with a tough-as-nails exterior and a heart of gold. Of course, the ditzy-but-smart athlete messes up every case the object of his affection works and thereby ruins his chances of ever wooing her.

Luckily, the agent always has his client’s back and is able to repair the damage caused, at the same time discovering that the suspect the police were pursuing was innocent and the person you least expected was responsible. This makes his sister look brilliant.

In Season 2 we learn that the agent secretly has a crush on the basketball player, and in the season finale he bursts into the guy’s mansion to express his feelings, where he finds his client making out with his sister.

A song by The Fray plays as we see scenes from the dialog-free aftermath this event caused, including the player missing a series of free throws at the end of a game and costing his team the league championship and resulting in a potential trade.

Who will represent him in the trade negotiations now that the agent has moved to Vancouver to find his spirituality?

What will happen at the police station now that she doesn’t have her brother to help her solve cases?

How will the distance affect their relationship if he really does get traded to Dallas?

Season 3 is gonna be awsum!

Not Perfect Grammar, Always Perfect Timing

Yesterday I tweeted:

Every time I see Kate applauding I say, "Yay! I'm still a REAL princess!" in what I think is her voice. #Olympic #confessions
@sadcox
Scott Adcox

And today @sallaboutme alerted me to this:

zombie_run

Post-Employee Era Zombies

What if, when the zombies do come, they attack and eat robots instead of people? That way, all of the robots that have cost people their jobs will be either eaten by zombies or too busy fighting the zombies to produce anything, freeing up those positions for people to go back to work doing robot tasks?

Robots will still be helping us, because they’ll be keeping the zombies in check.

Not any more outlandish than any of the other zombie scenarios you can come up with.

HT Instapundit.

Tired Of Running Sloppy, Slimy Courses

We had a pretty rainy weekend here with Debby sitting out in the Gulf. No storms, just a slow rain. Maybe not the optimal weather to go out and run in, but at least it wasn’t hot…right?

I did 8 miles in the rainiest part of the day yesterday and took it pretty easy up until the last mile. I’m hoping to test out with an 8:3x 10k in a couple of weeks, so I was happy to get that last mile in at 7:35 after having run 7 already in squishy wet shoes. I used to run in squishy shoes all the time and it didn’t seem to bother me, but I’m not liking it so much lately. The upside is that I only have one pair of runners right now, so they’re too squishy to go do anything today other than swim, bike, stretch, or do yoga. So I don’t feel any pressure to work out at all.

Here’s Jesco.

Newt or Mitt? So Many Missed Opportunities

There are a few things they could have done to help themselves gain votes with Floridians:

  1. Campaigning here in August instead of January. Florida in January is a no-brainer. Who really wants it?
  2. Participating in a spelling bee with only Spanish words.
  3. Having a first name that isn’t a four-letter word.
  4. Having a first name that sounds like a name instead of an inanimate object.
  5. Lobbying consulting with the National Hurricane Center to have the next devastating storm named after the other.
  6. Attending a Marlins afternoon game. That would have almost doubled attendance.
  7. Make a speech on the floor of the House of Representatives like the one below. It never gets old.

Need Help With Debt? Just Ask The Feds

This is amazingly rich.

The federal government has a web site to help Americans with their debt. It’s called “Knee Deep in Debt“. I can’t think of a better place to go for advice when you’re knee deep in debt than an organization that is over its head in debt.

It gets better. According to the site, the first step to eliminating debt is to set a budget. From my experience, this is great advice. Dave Ramsey says the same thing. The thing is, the last time we did a budget at our house was 21 days ago, before the month of January started. The last time the federal government did a budget was over 800 days ago.

Next up, sites on healthy living run by fat smokers and tips on living clean and sober by alcoholic meth lab operators who supplement their income running product from pill mills.

Remember this bit of wisdom from the gov’ment:

Your financial situation doesn’t have to go from bad to worse.

 

Idea: Revamp Pinterest’s Comment Feature

[poll id="9"]

If you aren’t really sure what Pinterest is, I’ll assume you are a male.

If you do know what it is and have spent any amount of time on it, you may have noticed the words that show up in the comments section underneath the photos of Stuff-Women-Fantasize-About-When-HGTV-Is-Not-On. On occasion, Pinterest users put these words together to form things that begin to approach sentences. My proposal is that we improve Pinterest by making it easier for them to choose a comment instead of having to type the same things out over and over.

***UPDATE***
Tizzle Van Dizzle has some Pinterest slogan suggestions.

Adding Insult and Gunshots to Injury

This is rich.

Break into someone’s house with two of your buddies, get beat down with a baseball bat by the homeowner, and then get shot several times by your buddies as they flee–leaving you bleeding on the lawn, presumably with a pretty bad headache to boot.

Clay will be charged with home invasion robbery upon release from the hospital, Lt. Heath Sanders said.

I wonder if this guy will be willing to share the identities of his assailants…err…accomplices with investigators.