She skips me like a rock
She rolls me like thunder
She knocks me down like a fifth of Tennessee
She’s a pitch that I can’t hit
She’s a joke that I don’t get
She’s crazy…that’s alright with me
I was the last one in the pool last night and thought about dumping all the kickboards, pull bouys, and whatever that other junk is in the basket next to the pool into my lane and do 200-300 through it with my eyes closed.
Didn’t want to have to clean all that stuff up though.
Chicks who play a Les Paul: +1
It can’t be stressed enough:
If you are a senior or nearing retirement, your funk will not change under The Uplift Mofo Party Plan.
Best. Cover. Ever.
I wonder if Lionel Richie wrote this song about the same thing all other Faith No More songs are about.
A guy came by yesterday selling a cleaner than works wonders on just about everything. I stared at the sun for a second, hoping I could muster up a sneeze I could aim in his direction and ask, “How is it with germs?” No dice.
…this video is boring.
For the rest of us, it’s 100% nuts. Make sure you watch it in full screen.
You’re going to be holding your breath most of the way through it, but try to remember to breathe. Your body is going to need air in order to keep saying, “OMG! OMG! OMG!”
- Labor Day and Memorial Day are the two best holidays. They feel like Sundays, but Chick-fil-A is open.
- Waffle fries can hold ketchup in the airy spaces between potato. Regular fries can’t do that.
- Chick-fil-A sandwiches don’t come with mayo by default, so you don’t have to worry about them soaking your bread with disgustingness accidentally.
One of the best scenes in the history of television.
Heard this disclaimer as read by Boortz…hilarious! Nineteen seconds of commercial, followed by a lot of disclaimer, followed by another 20 seconds or so of commercial. It may be safer just to keep smoking.
It reminds me of the old SNL Happy Fun Ball commercial:
Kid 1: It’s happy!
Kid 2: It’s fun!
All Three Kids: It’s Happy Fun Ball!
Announcer: Yes, it’s Happy Fun Ball! The toy sensation that’s sweeping the nation! Only $14.95 at participating stores! Get one today!
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.
Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, profuse sweating, or heart palpitations.
If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime warranty.
Announcer: Happy Fun Ball! Accept no substitutes!
Second time I done it on my own…
The plan for today’s swim was to warmup with a 300sw/100kick/100sw. Then some sprints, 4×200, and a 200 swim down. The warmup was so atrocious that I changed my plan–technique was all over the place and I felt like I was kicking to stand still on the kick part of the warmup. Instead of the 4×200 I decided to do a straight 800 and try to find an even stride. I sort of zoned out for the whole middle portion of the swim, so I guess it worked.
When I finished my 800 and was checking my HR, the lifeguard at the pool asked me, “What’s your swim goal?” He was asking because he noticed my soft kick off the side at the end of each length, and once I told him I was training for open water tris he understood why I was taking it easy on the turns. But still, it was a good question, and it gave me some things to think about and focus on during my swim down.
What are my goals, really?
- keep my heart rate at 120-130 during the race
- find someone to draft as much as possible
- make it through the swim with as few strokes possible (stay on course)
Ultimately, I would like to duplicate my best in-race swim ever if possible. The only thing I really remember about that swim was getting out of the water with a huge smile on my face and thinking, “This is really going to happen!”